Sharing the Shenny Sauce
by JLynnB
Summary: Taco Bell Sauce Package Line: "Nice palm. I read a great deal of pleasure in your future." Rated M for obvious reasons.


**A/N: Now for the PSA**

**We are calling out to all Shenny fans and writers. We cordially invite you to participate in the Shenny ships fun one-shot story share we've named Sharing the Shenny Sauce. We want all Shenny fans to come together in our shared ship. If you're willing to join in, here are some rules:**

**Search for Taco Bell Sauce Sayings and choose the one you like most.**

**Place the title of your story as 'Sharing the Shenny Sauce' and place your phrase in the Summary and underneath the Author's Note describing the rules (like so).**

**Your story must be a one-shot between 500-1500 words (not including the A/N)**

**Your story may be of any genre or rating (yes…ANY rating *wink*wink*)**

**It MUST be a Shenny story.**

**Deadline is the end of March.**

**Let your creative juices flow and start creating!**

…

DISCLAIMER: I got permission to go over the word limit. The Boss was amazed enough I came up with something under 100,000 words! I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I just like playing in their world. *Lynn

…

**Phrase:** "Nice palm. I read a great deal of pleasure in your future."

xTBBTx

**Rent**

Leonard was in a great mood as he walked into the living room. Indeed this would have been a perfect occasion to whistle had it not been for his roommate. Today marked the sixth month since Leonard had bought 2311 N Los Robles Ave with the proceeds from an uncle's estate and the revenues were a nice addition to his income from the university. He loved the second of the month when he knocked on the superintendent's door (his employee! Leonard still giggled at the thought) and was handed the grey zippered bank folder with _his_ tenants(!) checks.

That is, except for one who preferred online banking. Speaking of which Leonard had to address an oddity to his roommate as Sheldon typed away at his computer.

"Um, Sheldon, we seem to have a situation here," the curly haired man began.

"Oh?" Sheldon replied, still typing.

"It's just that today's the second and I haven't received your half of the rent." At this Sheldon paused in his work.

"Odd. Let me check my account." Keys clacked as he entered his password.

Nothing happened.

Sheldon frowned and tried again. Nada. He sighed. Such disruptions would be much worse when the Machine Overlords took over.

"It seems as though our wifi's out. I'll have to write you a check." He got up from his desk and went into his bedroom. His hand froze as he opened the second drawer of his nightstand.

The checkbook was missing.

"Leonard! Someone's been in my room!"

"Don't look at me," replied Leonard from the living room.

"No one can be in my room," mumbled Sheldon as he searched further in the drawer but even his extra check books were gone.

"Sheldon can we hurry this up? The bank closes at five."

_First thing's first, Dr. Cooper_. Sheldon sighed as he realized he'd have to go with Leonard so he could access an ATM thus disrupting him from completing his article.

"Drat."

He grabbed his tan jacket and returned to the living room. "I'll have you know I still have my 'Junior G-Man' fingerprinting kit and have every intention of using it when I return." He opened his desk drawer and again he was stilled as if struck. "My wallet's gone!" He turned to his roommate. "Leonard, we've been robbed!"

"No we haven't; everything else is here. You sure you left it"—he stopped as Sheldon gave him an incredulous stare—"never mind. Well it's just been us and I doubt Howard or Raj would have touched it. Anyways I've got to get going with this stuff." He patted the rent folder. Sheldon was beside himself.

"I'm—sorry Leonard. I've no means to pay you at present."

A little smirk came to Leonard's face. All these years it had been on the books but never implemented—until now.

"You DO realize that according to the Roommate Agreement should one have to cover rent for the other the offending party gets a strike, right?" he said.

Sheldon paled. He knew where this was going. "Leonard I have the money it's"—at once he dashed across the room to the peanut brittle can. The snakes went flying but that was all that came out. Sheldon looked to be on the point of tears. "This isn't funny."

"Do you see me laughing?" Leonard said with a glint in his eyes.

"Some would suggest a touch of malevolence to your demeanor."

"Look Sheldon, I can't help you." Here Leonard sobered. "And I know such a stickler to detail as you can appreciate my side of things. It's rent time. You're late. That's a strike. More importantly, this is your third strike."

A tremor passed over Sheldon's lips. "I know," he whispered.

"And under the Roommate Agreement it says I may designate punishment."

"I'm prepared to take your class," Sheldon sighed.

"I don't give classes, Sheldon. I teach lessons. And believe me this is one we're never going to forget."

There was something to the way Leonard spoke that got the hair raised on the back of Sheldon's neck. He felt flushed. Never had Leonard seemed so _sure_ of himself.

"We'll discuss it when I get back." Leonard stopped before closing the door. "Oh, and make sure you've changed bed sheets and have had a shower before six pm. I like to work on a clean slate."

Sheldon stared at the back of the door as the conversation wound its way through his brain. He wasn't sure what Leonard meant by 'clean slate' but if the words were taken at face value he'd be in serious trouble. _There's no way Leonard meant_….

Sheldon was out the door and across the hall.

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny!"

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny!"

_Knock Knock Knock_ "Penny!"

"Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon," Penny said as she opened the door with a coffee in hand. "And what brings you to my humble abode this afternoon?"

"I'm in need of a translation. As you know I'm not very good at social interaction."

"Shoot," Penny said before taking a sip.

"I've incurred a third strike and under the Roommate Agreement Leonard can dictate punishment. He wants me to change my bed sheets and have a shower because he likes to work 'with a clean slate' and—"

Penny choked on her coffee. "What?" she sputtered, wide-eyed, as she slapped her chest a couple of times to get the liquid coughed out of her lungs. Before Sheldon could speak further she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him inside the apartment. Sheldon went to the couch and sat down. Penny knew he must be knocked for a loop because he didn't complain about the state of things in her apartment which even she admitted was a little overwhelming given her string of double shifts at the Cheesecake Factory. She closed the door and took a seat next to her friend. "So when did Leonard say this?"

"A few minutes ago. We were discussing my inability to pay my portion of the rent at this time due to unforeseen and highly suspicious circumstances."

Penny smirked. "A rent skipper, eh? 'I don't know if I feel comfortable harboring a fugitive'."

Sheldon pursed his lips as his prior words haunted him. "Point. Penny I'm unsure what to do. As far as I know social protocol doesn't include this level of appeasement." He paused as he licked his lips. "I _am_ correct in assuming Leonard wants to perform lewd acts on my person."

"Sure sounds like it." She took a sip of her coffee and thought. "I don't know sweetie, I think you might be screwed."

"Word choice Penny," Sheldon growled. "What do you mean?"

In response she grinned. "Sorry about that." She set her coffee mug on the table. "Knowing the both of you I don't think this has anything to do with social protocol at all." Her eyes flashed to his face. "It's the Roommate Agreement." Sheldon turned away, his teeth worrying the side of his mouth as he went over the document in his mind. "What's it say about strikes?"

"Well there are more formalized strikes in the Roommate Agreement that deal with grievances against Leonard and my legal relationship as roommates. Over the years Leonard has had a series of formal hearings on his transgressions and has received punishments as set by myself."

"You mean to say that in eight years you've never gotten three strikes?"

"Unlike some people I adhere to contracts I sign. I've given my word and I must follow through."

Penny nodded. "Very noble; but back to the Agreement. Does it say anything about what can't be used as punishment?"

"No. I thought to make it flexible as possible given that a particular transgression might require more or less severe address." Sheldon sighed before turning his blue eyes on Penny's face. "It seems I've painted myself into a corner."

"YuP." The two friends sat in silence.

"Well I'd best go and do what he asked before Leonard gives me another strike." Sheldon made to get off the couch but Penny stayed him with a hand to his shoulder.

"Hang on a minute. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't help get you through this?"

"Believe me there's nothing you can do," he sighed.

"Sweetie, have you done anything like this before?" Penny caught his eyes with her own.

"No," he said softly.

"Then I most certainly can help you," she said brightly. She got off the couch and pushed the coffee table aside to make more floor space. "Up up," she said and he rose, albeit tentatively. Penny laughed. "Come on Sheldon, trust me."

"I seem to have little choice," he replied. "What is the purpose of this?"

"You need to get ready."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "I was going to get ready. You stopped me."

Penny couldn't help but grin. "No, Sheldon. I mean I was going to get you _ready_."

It took him a moment to process her inflection but when he did a serious flush came to his face.

"Penny, I highly doubt I require your services," he said in a higher than normal pitch that carried with it hints of a Texas twang. "Surely even you recognize the differences in basic anatomy."

"I don't mean _sex_, silly." A sly smile slid across her face. "Tell me how you masturbate."

Sheldon was absolutely thunderstruck. "_That's none of your business!_" He turned to the door.

"Leonard's going to want things just right and the longer it takes for you to deliver the longer the session," she reminded him. Sheldon stopped and Penny saw his body tense. "Who knows what creative things he could come up with given the extra time?"

"I can look this up online," he said over his shoulder.

Penny rolled her eyes. "This isn't like learning how to swim although I still don't know how the hell you think you've pulled that one off. Anyways when's Leonard going to be back?"

"Five thirty at the latest."

She checked her vcr clock. "It's four forty eight now. I don't think you're going to get a better lesson in this short amount of time."

Sheldon gave a big sigh and his shoulders slumped. "Very well," he said quietly. He turned back to Penny although his eyes were looking at her feet. "I manually stimulate my genital region."

"Do you use lubricant?"

"I don't see what—"

Penny folded her arms across her chest. "Who's the expert here?"

Sheldon swallowed heavily and nodded in acknowledgment. "Vaseline Intensive Care. It keeps my shaft and foreskin silky smooth."

"I'm sure it does," she replied as her eyes drifted to his groin. "So." She looked up. "Nipples. Are they sensitive?"

"As far as I know," he replied hoarsely.

"Let's find out," she said as she crossed the room to stand before him. "Lift your shirt."

"Penny—"

"It's not like I haven't seen your chest before. Just pretend I'm going to put on Vicks Vaporub." She bent her knees so she could meet Sheldon's gaze which was situated on the floor. "Time's ticking, Moonpie."

He closed his eyes and raised his shirt. Penny smiled at the tufts of hair on his chest. Raising a finger she gave a nipple a couple of flips causing Sheldon to gasp. She continued the motion until she had the result she wanted—an erect nipple.

"Do you flick or twist them?" she asked evenly.

"Twist."

Penny gave a couple more flicks to his nipple. Sheldon groaned. "Trust me. Next time rub your nipples to an erection and flick them. You're sensitive enough to enjoy this. In fact, give me your shirt."

Sheldon covered his chest with his garment, trying all the while to ignore the jolt that went to his genital region as the cloth from his shirt dragged over his sensitized nipple.

"No."

"Oh for Pete's sake Sheldon the only things I haven't seen are your shoulders and biceps. Come on you have to practice and you can't do that while holding up your shirt." She raised an eyebrow as she faced Sheldon's scowl. "All right, good luck with Leonard."

"This is so _stupid_!" he spurted.

"No, _this_ is stupid. Just suck it up and do it Sheldon. You're going to have to do this for real in roughly half an hour." Penny held out her hand. "Shirts."

"Oh very well," Sheldon said in a huff as he stripped out of his shirts and handed them to Penny.

"Ok," she said as she lay his clothing over the arm of her couch. "Now I want you to lightly brush your left nipple with the top of your finger." Sheldon, his cheeks crimson, tentatively complied. As this was the one Penny had played with it wasn't long before it stood erect. "Now stop and do the right." He licked his lips and took a breath before he began teasing himself. The longer he flicked the deeper his breaths until he was rewarded with another readied nipple.

"You're doing great Sheldon. Now go back to your left one and this time give it a good flick from base to tip." A gasp escaped from his lips and he stared wide-eyed at Penny. "Pretty good, huh?" she smiled. "Stop and do the same to the other one." Another gasp. "Now alternate in threes. Faster." He closed his eyes and lost himself to the rhythm. "That's it now flick them both at the same time." His eyebrows drew together as Sheldon moaned. "Don't stop!"

Penny went to one knee and quickly unlaced Sheldon's shoes. "Lift your foot. Now the other one." In a daze he complied until both shoes and socks were removed. As she stood up she couldn't help but notice the tenting in his pants.

As her hands unhooked his belt it was all Sheldon could do to remain standing. Shiver after shiver coursed down his back and his nipple flicks became haphazard as his pants dropped to the floor revealing his Bat-Man underwear.

"Well, well, Mr. Wayne," Penny cooed. She brushed her hand along his engorged penis that strained against its cotton prison. "That's some bat-signal."

For the first time in his life Sheldon Cooper was at a loss. Of words. Of thought. All he could do was take in his neighbor as she stuck her fingers in his underwear and pulled down.

"That's better," Penny said softly.

"Penny," he said hoarsely.

"Shh." She stood back and smiled not unkindly. "You were right: you've got a nice set."

"Aesthetically pleasing."

"And I believe you also said fully functional."

"Something like that," he agreed.

Penny moved into Sheldon's space. "Have you ever tested the limits of your functionality?"

"I've masterbated." He felt flushed and his eyes drifted down Penny's neckline to her inner breasts.

Penny took his hand and examined it. "Nice Palm." She ran her finger along a crease. "I read a great deal of pleasure in your future."

"Sarcasm?" Sheldon said and unconsciously held his breath.

"Depends" she whispered. "Have you ever been touched here?" She squeezed his left nipple causing him to suck in his breath.

"No," he hissed back. Penny's hand traced down to his penis and she grasped his quivering shaft.

"Or here?"

"No," he gasped.

Penny's teeth ran over her lip as she hesitated for only a second.

"What about here?" she cooed and then her mouth covered his and began to move slowly, teasingly.

Sheldon closed his eyes and took in her warm breath. Slowly his lower lip moved to caress hers and then his tentative movements became more assured. His hands drifted to Penny's hips and pulled her close, his penis pinned between their waists.

Penny's tongue rimmed his lips before sliding in between. She didn't know what she expected from Sheldon but it sure wasn't him shifting his head and widening his mouth to maximize her tongue's caress along his length.

There was this thing she did with her tongue that made grown men feel underage. A twist and a suck and she was rewarded with a throaty groan on his part.

At last they parted to breathe. Sheldon opened his eyes to bathe in his Kryptonite's gaze.

"I've never experienced anything like that before," he said when he found his voice.

"Good," smiled Penny brightly. "Put your clothes away and I'll be right back." As she practically skipped into her bedroom Sheldon stepped out of his pants and carefully folded and placed it on his shirts followed by his underwear and socks.

When Penny returned she had a bed sheet, pillow and a white bag with pink and blue polka dots. She tossed him the sheet.

"Lay it out on the floor and then lie down. We don't have much time." Sheldon quickly complied. "Now lift your hips. Perfect." She placed the pillow underneath to lift his butt off the floor.

Immediately Sheldon raised himself on his elbows. "Penny I—"

"Sheldon for God's sake we don't have time. This is ground zero, hon. If we don't get this part ready you're sunk." Green eyes met blue. "Trust me." He lay back down, closed his eyes and waited. He heard Penny unzip the bag and take out a few items. He bit his lip as he heard the _snap_ of a latex glove.

"Now play with your nipples like before and don't stop. Remember do one, then the other," she said.

"Penny, I have an eidetic memory." He began pleasuring himself. "Believe me when I say I'll never forget this."

_You and me both, Moonpie_. Penny took a moment to watch his fingers do their thing before she settled to the task at hand.

"Now I know it's not what you use but chances are all Leonard's going to have is lube so you might as well get used to it." She squirted a liberal amount on her finger. "I'm going to use my finger to rim you now."

"What does that mean?" Sheldon asked before he felt her hand and the cold lube slide between his butt cheeks and rub against his anus.

"Relax." Penny wiggled her hand from side to side, making a slapping sound against his buttocks. "Ok, I'm going in again."

Sheldon had never stimulated himself anally not out of squeamishness but that he took little interest in the whole matter of masturbation. He now knew the sensitivity of the area as Penny's finger moved a fraction inside him and began to swirl in a circle.

"Sweet Jesus," he hissed. When she extracted her finger he felt the void of its absence. Again he heard the sounds of lubricant squirting from the tube and again his ass was invaded by a slim fingered intruder which, with a few more applications of lube, slowly but surely crept its way inside.

Penny smiled broadly. "And we're in. Let me know if you feel yourself coming. Now, time to make this interesting."

Sheldon felt her finger moving inside of him until a sudden feeling of pressure alerted him that she'd found his prostate. Penny's finger made gentle thrusting movements against the engorged bump.

"Harder," gasped Sheldon and she complied. As of its own will his right hand slid to his penis and began tugging furiously. Never had Sheldon found himself in the throws of such yearning as he felt the explosion begin deep in his being. "Penny!" His breathing was a series of gasps and he barely registered the apartment door open and close before a loud moan escaped his lips as he climaxed. Burst after burst of hot semen splashed onto his belly until, spent and exhausted, he released his organ and let his hand fall to his side.

"Wow," he heard Leonard say.

"Yeah," gushed Penny in response as she removed her finger from Sheldon and took off the glove. "I think you've got it, Dr. Cooper." He felt a hand pat his penis. "Congratulations."

Opening his eyes, Sheldon lifted his chin until his roommate's face came into view.

"What time is it?" he said softly.

"Five twenty," Leonard said after checking his watch. Sheldon closed his eyes and nodded.

"I'll go ready myself." After a moment he sat up and regarded his neighbor, perhaps for the first time. Never again would he call her intelligence into question. As she just proved, in some areas she was a genius in her own right.

For her part Penny handed him his clothes. Sheldon quietly slipped his shirts on before standing. Almost in a daze he donned his underwear and pants. He stuffed his feet into his shoes sans socks.

"I'll see you in a bit," said Leonard. Again Sheldon nodded before going to the door. "Sheldon." The lanky man turned. "Don't you have anything to say to Penny?"

"Thank you Penny," Sheldon said softly, and exited.

"So what _are_ you going to do with him anyways?" Penny asked. Leonard shrugged.

"I was going to have him lie down on the bed after I'd put dirty socks on his hands and feet." He smirked. "Although that seems rather anticlimactic now—pun not intended."

Penny was incredulous. "And the clean bedding and shower comment?"

"I just wanted Sheldon to be extra clean so he could really appreciate the filth." Now it was Leonard's turn to smile. "Looks as though someone misinterpreted my words."

"Yeah well they were kind of suggestive," blushed Penny.

"Wishful thinking maybe?" he teased.

"Leonard, he has a girlfriend."

"And you had a few boyfriends. Didn't stop me from wanting you. I just never had the guts to do what you did." He began to chuckle. "Don't worry I'll make it seem as though you changed my mind about the sex thing."

"Thanks sweetie."

Leonard walked to the door. Never for a moment did he think maneuvering Sheldon into a third strike by denying him access to his money would result in something like this.

"You know he'll never be the same," he said seriously.

"Him and me both."

After turning the lock on her door Penny unbuttoned her shorts as she made for the bedroom. Before she tidied things up she had her own business to attend starting with getting out of her soaked panties.


End file.
